Apparently there are two epicenters of hipsterdom: Brooklyn, NY and Portland, Oregon. I hate hipsters and couldn’t imagine visiting those places and not leaving with assault and battery charges. I’m not a violent man by any means. I mean, I have had several battles with spiders in my flat where the outcome truly was in doubt. There’s just something about hipsters that makes ordinary people eager to try out violence for the first time. You know?
Hipster Watching Has Been Moved Up:
I planned on spending a couple of days trying out obscure cafes to see hipsters in their natural habitat. But once I got off the plane, I came up against an uncomfortable truth: they’re everywhere.
They were in the airport.
They were on the train from the airport.
They were in my hotel.
It’s like a zombie apocalypse where you discover that everyone is already infected. It’s not a weird minority of people here in Vancouver. There are Asians, there are hipsters, and there are Asian hipsters (inevitable overlap). But that’s all there is.
The gross part? The smug looks on their faces…or the scarves or…I don’t know. I don’t even know what it is. It’s this terrible feeling.
I think I’m in over my head.