vancouver

Met a Girl!

Alright I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m still here in Canada exploring this great country. The reason I haven’t posted?

I met a girl!

That’s right I met a girl here in Vancouver. Her name is Lauren and she’s studying to become a Phlebotomist. So what does a Phlebotomist do exactly? I had to look it up. They are those people in the hospital (and blood clinics) that take your blood. They are a step down from nurses.
I don’t know how she does it. I pass out at the sight of blood. It is just soooo gross.

So what’s next for me?

Well I can tell that this girl is amazing. I met her at a party with some friends and ever …

grouse mountain bear

Grouse Mountain!

A Note on Canadian Pronunciation:

First off: a rant:

Dear Canadians: do you really expect me to believe that you pronounce this fine mountain “Grouse” as in “mouse”? What sense does that make? Why isn’t it pronounced like “gross”. You know how hard it is for an Englishman to pronounce it that way?
First off: the grouse is an arctic bird (seriously.) I find it easier to call it Gross Mountain. Not that there’s anything inherently gross about it. I just don’t want to have a bloody aneurysm every time I talk about the place.

Rant Over.

Alright, the rant is over. Yesterday I went up Grouse Mountain (I pronounced it Gross in my head). This was a fun place to be, but …

First Up: Hipster Watching!

Apparently there are two epicenters of hipsterdom: Brooklyn, NY and Portland, Oregon. I hate hipsters and couldn’t imagine visiting those places and not leaving with assault and battery charges. I’m not a violent man by any means. I mean, I have had several battles with spiders in my flat where the outcome truly was in doubt. There’s just something about hipsters that makes ordinary people eager to try out violence for the first time. You know?

Hipster Watching Has Been Moved Up:

I planned on spending a couple of days trying out obscure cafes to see hipsters in their natural habitat. But once I got off the plane, I came up against an uncomfortable truth: they’re everywhere.

They were in the airport.

They were on …